Gratitude can make a difference in the way we wait on good news when working with young people. James Fawcett reflects in the run-up to our festive time of waiting.
Advent has so may parallels with working with young people.
Advent is a period of time in the Christian calendar when we are waiting and preparing. We are patiently (well kind of) waiting for the birth of Jesus, the saviour of the world, the author and perfector of our faith. It’s the pregnancy time, the time when we prepare, we ponder, we know what’s going to happen but we have no real idea what’s actually going to happen! We are waiting with joyful hope.
Practising gratitude
Brene Brown describes Joy as the most vulnerable emotion, here is a quote from her:
“Joy is the most vulnerable emotion we experience, and if you cannot tolerate joy, what you do is start dress rehearsing tragedy.”
Dress rehearsing tragedy, she explains, is imagining something bad is going to happen when in reality, nothing is wrong. “How many of you have ever stood over your child while they’re sleeping and thought, “I love you” — and then pictured something horrific happening?” Brown asks. “Or woke up in the morning and thought, “Job’s going great. Parents are good. This can’t last.” ”
During her research, Brown says she met people who had a profound capacity for joy. The difference, she says, is that when something really blissful happened to them, they felt grateful. “Instead of using it as a warning to start practising disaster, they used it as a reminder to practice gratitude.”
So joyful hope and gratitude are linked. For me, it’s a mindset change to remember to be grateful since it can lead to a joyful hope. I have been at my most joyful when I’ve consciously practised gratitude.
Leading young people to a joyful hope
A vast proportion of my work with young people has been spent in a ‘waiting with hope’ space, as opposed to ‘in the jubilation of the event actually happening’ space. We can spend a lot of time in ‘hope’ that the fruits of our labours will blossom. I have spent plenty of time in that hope, in tragedy, thinking “they won’t go far – with an attitude like that, it’s a shame they’re so rude, they won’t…” or “I just think they are missing the point…why do I even bother?” Not all the time obviously was tragedy, but I think if you are not proactive with the gratitude you perhaps lack the joy in the hope?! That’s certainly been my experience…
The list of ‘issues’ affecting young people in the UK – particularly in London – is long: mental health, gender, social media status, sexuality, knife crime, violence, peers, academic pressure…the list goes on. Yet it does not account for the normal physical and emotional changes that are happening for teenagers. If we can help the young people in our care to aim for some gratitude this advent that can point them to a joyful hope, we will be teaching them skills for faith and life that are life-long.
Prompted by the gift of advent, I’m going to be practising hope with gratitude and aiming for joyful hope.