Youth development worker Josh Booth explores how youth leaders, parents and carers can support young people through exam season with a calm presence, honest conversations, prayer and practical care. A thoughtful reflection on pressure, identity and anxiety, and how to help young people feel seen and valued.
Exam season can feel overwhelming for young people: revision timetables stretch into long evenings, normal routines are disrupted, and pressure (spoken and unspoken) begins to build. It’s a mixed bag of determination, anxiety, self-doubt and exhaustion.
As youth leaders, parents and carers and mentors, we have a unique opportunity to reduce pressure and be a steady, life-giving presence. In a culture that equates worth with performance, as the Church, remembering that our value is given, not earned, is an important reminder.
Amidst revision guides and exam timetables, there’s often a deeper story and feelings that may not have found words yet, as many are carrying:
- a fear of failure and anxiety
- the pressure to meet expectations (theirs and others)
- comparison with their peers
- disrupted sleep, routines and exhaustion
- emotional fatigue or burnout.
Keep an eye out for persistent signs of these behaviours and follow safeguarding processes and involve appropriate support. Sometimes it can be something more serious going on that has been brought to the surface due to exams.
For me, when I was a young person, I remember the pressure in the lead up to exams feeling almost suffocating. It wasn’t necessarily the exams themselves, but rather the looming feeling that everything depended on them. I struggled to revise, I tried many ways, but nothing clicked, and the more I tried, the more I became stressed and frustrated – nothing was working.
What did help came through a youth worker that knew me well, who took time to understand my brain and helped me stay calm, suggesting revising in short bursts instead of long stretches, and with music being an outlet. None of this was a quick fix, but it changed things, making revision more manageable and reminding me I wasn’t on my own – someone saw and understood me throughout this time.
What may sometimes look like disengagement or a lack of motivation for some may end up being something else entirely, as we, as adults, don’t always have the full picture yet.
Practical ways we can support young people
1. Be a non-anxious presence and encourage healthy rhythms
Young people don’t need us to mirror their stress; they need a calm and grounded presence that doesn’t try to fix everything (resist that urge). Our aim is to offer presence more than we offer pressure. Often, the most powerful thing we can give them is simply being there.
Within this, encouraging healthy rhythms in a season of intensity makes a difference, be it prioritising sleep over late-night cramming, taking regular breaks, getting in movement or remembering the basics of eating and hydration. Teaching young people to sustain themselves well and stay grounded looks like modelling a pattern of focus, rest, connection and prayer and reflection.
2. Help them keep perspective (gently) through honest conversations
It’s important not to dismiss how much exams matter to young people, but gently helping them keep perspective through affirming their effort and not just the outcomes; through carefully challenging the idea that results are everything, and reminding them their story is still unfolding. From a faith perspective, pointing them back to the truth that their identity is not rooted in results, but in being known and loved by God.
This is especially key as exam season can be surprisingly lonely. So, creating space for honest conversation through gentle, open questions about how a young person is really doing is helpful – listen without rushing to advice and help them feel that what they are experiencing is normal and safe to express.
Here, a ‘Good News Space’ in your youth setting would be great – a board, wall or shared notebook where young people can write down something good, small or big, that’s happening in their life or in the world around them. This gives them a wider perspective, that joy can still exist even when things are serious and hard.
3. Pray with and for them
Prayer doesn’t need to feel heavy or forced; it can be simple and gentle, whether through short prayers, optional moments of stillness or scripture that speaks peace and identity, such as “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
4. Adapt your youth spaces
This may not be the season for high-energy programmes, so adapting youth spaces might mean offering shorter, lighter-touch gatherings, creating quiet revision-friendly environments, providing drop-in spaces with snacks and encouragement, and making room for young people simply to be rather than perform. In this season, the goal often shifts from high engagement to sustaining connection.
This isn’t the season for high-energy programmes, so adapting youth spaces could look like: offering shorter and lighter-touch gatherings; creating quiet revision-friendly environments; providing a drop-in space with snacks and encouragement. Making room for young people to simply be and not have to perform. Right now, the goal shifts from high engagement to sustaining connection.
5. Remember the wider context (parents and carers)
Remembering the wider context is important! Many parents and carers are feeling the pressure too, and we can support them by encouraging grace within families and reinforcing that relationship matters more than results – if needed, offer simple encouragement and signpost where appropriate.
What young people need from us
You may have seen the annual results day tweet from Jeremy Clarkson about getting a C and two Us. It often raises a smile and, perhaps, some perspective. However, for the young people we’re walking with, this can be heavy for them. Brushing off their feelings or trying to quickly reassure them that ‘it’ll all be fine’ doesn’t help, rather we are invited to simply be present and realise the power in that.
Listening without rushing; noticing what’s happening beneath the surface; and gently and consistently reminding them that their value has never been conditional. Especially in a culture that measures success through grades and outcomes, we can embody a story where young people are known, loved and valued long before, and long after, they get their results.