‘This group’s been a lifeline,’ said Sophie to me while feeding her baby. ‘I stopped work just before Charlie was born and realised I knew no one locally. I was so lonely.’ She smiled and continued, ‘Now I’ve made friends here and we meet up in the park or go for a coffee during the week.’
Kristina confided, ‘You’re all my family here. Mine is so far away.’
Stories like these are repeated all over London in the parent and toddler groups I visit. Grateful first-time parents, grannies and childminders find a warm welcome and a listening ear. Many of the volunteers were helped by such groups when their children were small and carry on, faithfully providing hospitality and reflecting the love of God.
It’s not surprising in our fragmented and transitory society that the role of the church-based toddler group continues to be vital in building community. So many parents no longer live near their families and have no one to turn to for advice and support. Single mothers can feel especially isolated and parent and toddler groups provide a caring environment and adult company at little or no cost. Some churches also run ‘Bumps and Baby’ groups for pregnant women and parents with newborn babies, so that friendships can be made even before a child is born.
The Jubilee Plus report on the Impact of Church-Based Parent and Toddler Groups states that they ‘have been one of the most frequent ways in which churches engage with their communities in social action and it is estimated that there are up to 27,000 such groups in 2014 and that over half of children in England have some form of engagement with those groups.’ Their research showed that ‘community is built amongst group helpers and parents/carers, who develop long-lasting friendships that would not have happened without the group … 88% of groups reported that parents/carers get a friendship support network. 88% reported that children build friendships and 86% that they acquire social skills.’
In some areas of London, there are different groups on every day of the week so some parents have a toddler group circuit. Each one has its own identity but there are usually refreshments, toys, a craft activity, a lively story, familiar nursery rhymes and sometimes a Bible story, songs and prayer.
Toddler group teams are often the unsung treasure of the church. Their value cannot be overestimated. They show God’s love in action week in, week out. ‘I don’t know how I’d have managed without you,’ said Jane at the end of her maternity leave. She gave each of the team a hug and added, ‘If I have another baby, I’ll definitely be back!’
Tessa Rust is Early Years Mission Adviser for the Diocese of London.