I just wanted to put this out there as we often talk about how we respond to difficult times and how to keep going through them but we rarely talk about success. This either means that we are all staggering from one shambles to another or we are missing a chance to dwell on the good bits. I think sometimes we struggle to be pleased with success as we don’t want to seem like a show off and so forget about them while majoring on where things didn’t go so well. If we can bring ourselves to do it, there’s a lot to be gained by focusing on what made things go well.
Clive Woodward, the coach of the 2003 World Cup winning English rugby team, said that we often treat success and failure opposite to the way that we should. He said that from his experience in business, when the company had a success (they won a contract or made a sale) then they would have a big party and all go out and get drunk. Yet, when they didn’t make that sale then there would be endless soul searching meetings while everyone tried to work out who was to blame and stop it happening next time. He argued that reversing this is a good idea. Have the review meetings when you succeed, to work out why you won and build from a position of strength and then when you lose you go out and get drunk!
He actually makes a good point. Although we don’t tend to go out drinking to celebrate a good Sunday school (if you do, I need to join your team) we are more likely to spend the week obsessing about a bad Sunday than replaying in our minds the bits that went well. So what do we need to dwell on to make the most of our successes?
1. Remember how much you enjoyed it
One of the games I play as someone who does a bit of running and cycling is to try and store up the memories of the good rides: when it was warm, there was no wind and it didn’t even rain a little bit. I use these to encourage me to get out and ride when the weather isn’t so kind. We need to be the same with our ministry: remember the good times, dwell on them and let them motivate you to keep going when it’s more difficult. Children’s work is always throwing up little nuggets of gold that we need to hold on to until we find the next one. So remember the child who wasn’t listening and then asked a question that blew your mind, or who stopped winding up his brother for long enough to help someone who was struggling!
2. Look for principles
You can’t just copy last week because it went well, you need to draw out the principles that made it go well. What underpinned the activity that you can take away and use again? Did the game draw itself to a conclusion that required quiet to work and therefore ease the transition to another activity? The look for games that do that again!
3. Store away the activities as reliable staples
Activities that really fly need to be recorded and stored to be used again. Have them on standby so that if your session next week is floundering you have a fall-back position. Also use them in the weeks you open your resource (hopefully not on Saturday evening) and realise it’s all hopeless and you need something else.
How do you celebrate and make use of your successes? Let us know on Twitter or Facebook!
Sam Donoghue is Head of Children’s and Youth Support for the Diocese of London.