Many of us already recognise that parents have far more influence on a child’s faith than we could in an hour on Sunday. The Bible reminds us that raising children of faith is primarily the responsibility of parents, not something that is outsourced to the professionals. Ultimately, it’s parents who decide whether the child will come on Sunday. So how do we get parents on board and support them in their role of raising children of faith?
Before I start, I should say that often with any initiative for parents, I’ve found it is the keen beans who join in first rather than the ones you feel really need to hear it. Even though it feels like you’re working with the ones who are already doing what you’re trying to cultivate amongst the other parents, I’ve concluded that spending time with your keen parents achieves something significant. By investing time in those who are keen, you have equipped those who are modelling Christian parenting and the message will filter outwards. After all, many of these parents will spend more time rubbing shoulders with the other parents than you will. Jesus seemed to work this way, investing most of his time in the three, and then the 12 and then the 72 and then the crowd. We should be raising up parenting ambassadors from amongst the parents. Commission them to invite and encourage other parents.
Communication is key
On the simplest level, sending home follow-up notes for parents (with a summary of the passage, some discussion questions and ideas for applying or developing it at home) and recommending resources, implies that you are hoping they will reinforce the lesson at home. Sending a weekly email to parents is one of the best habits I’ve ever formed, it improves communication and reminds parents you want them to be involved. A card with the teaching plan for the term that parents can put on their fridge, or even ensuring that whatever is taken home shows what the children have learnt and where it’s from in the Bible, will make such a difference.
Parenting courses
Parenting courses vary in their purpose. Some are designed as a means of outreach (addressing practical wisdom for parents) while others are aimed are believers who want to apply the gospel to their parenting and make faith a part of everyday life. It is the latter that will help to get parents on board, but in some situations the former could be used to build towards the other.
Christian parenting book
If finding time for a course is an issue, you can recommend a good Christian parenting book to parents. Over the summer holidays about 50 families at our church read the book Gospel-Centred Family by Tim Chester and Ed Moll. I sent out a weekly email summarising two chapters of the book. It’s a very concise and easy-to-read book that says all that I would want to say on Christian parenting. During the autumn term I asked two or three families from each year group to host a parents’ get-together to discuss Christian parenting, using the book as a springboard for discussion. This went very well, even leading to some groups arrange their own further meetings.
Sunday lunch for families
Similarly, I have previously organised a termly Sunday lunch for families where families can spend time getting to know each other, followed by a time with a thought on Christian parenting while the children were entertained. Both models have worked well – one having a more personal feel and the other more celebratory and exciting.
Spending time with families outside of Sundays
I want to be much better at spending time with families outside of Sundays – having them to lunch, chatting to them in the playground, making home visits (which I saw worked well in the Kidz Klub model), talking to parents after the service – it all takes intentionality and effort but is a good use of time.
Changing the culture amongst parents won’t happen overnight but with prayer and perseverance, I hope we’ll see more parents helping children to make faith the central part of their everyday life.
Ashley Nichols is Children’s Minister at Christ Church Cockfosters.