Children on class visits to our church premises often ask seriously thought-provoking questions that challenge my ability to give a satisfactory answer.
This Christmas’ prize-winning question was asked by a 7-year-old girl: ‘Did Mary come from Bethlehem? If she didn’t, why did she have to go to Bethlehem with Joseph?’ That’s an obvious question if you live in a world where equality between men and women is assumed and women on getting married tend not to surrender their individual identity.
I had to think quickly. We don’t know where Mary came from, although she was from the tribe of Judah (around Jerusalem) and she did have a relative (Elizabeth) who lived near Jerusalem. The Romans probably conducted the census for tax purposes and Joseph, as the working craftsman, would have been the ‘tax-payer’. Most women didn’t have status or many choices in life, but note that 30 years later, Jesus was supported by a group a wealthy women some of whom appear to have been financially independent. Mary may have still been a girl, only five years older than the children in this class. She and Joseph were married by now, so she did what she was told.
Maybe Joseph needed to keep her close by his side for her own protection because getting pregnant while unmarried was so shameful. Maybe her own family had disowned her. Yet if Mary’s Song, the Magnficat, is anything to go by, she was a most feisty young woman.
But how could I explain any of this to these children? For them, what’s the problem with having a baby before you get married? How is it possible that women had so little choice in life? This girl’s question opened up a battery of questions for me resulting in rather too many speculative ‘maybes’. I simply answered that this was a really good question and, put simply, all this happened 2,000 years ago when women had fewer freedoms and rights than they have now and she wouldn’t have paid taxes.
All the time in children’s ministry, we are seeking to help children make sense of Bible stories set in an alien culture in the Middle East over two thousand years ago. The character of God remains constant, Jesus’ death 2,000 years ago continues to be relevant to them but the context of what they read is remote.
Here are four question-related features that are in any conversation I have with a class of children:
- The way we generally welcome children and tell Bible stories should communicate it’s OK to ask questions even if they cannot easily be articulated. Always praise the quality of every question asked.
- Encourage children to be curious about Bible stories, by using phrases such as, ‘I wonder what would have happened if…’ or ‘You’ll never guess what happened next!’ They become part of the story as they sit on the edge of their seats (or on the carpet!). I love their suggestions at the end of the story of the lost sheep, when I ask what the shepherds ate at the celebratory party. (Mind you, last week’s toddler group only suggested water, carrots and chocolate cake!) To any adults present I wonder if it was a leg of lamb!
- Give as much historical background and original context to the story to help understand its storyline, characters and its veracity. It helped with this class that two boys had recently been to Jerusalem and Bethlehem.
- Usually, there is never enough time to answer every question but never let a class leave without asking any. Some classes even come with a pre-prepared list. If you don’t know the answer, be honest and try to find out. Keep answers as short as possible to allow for as many questions as possible.
I didn’t do justice to this girl’s question about Mary. But I did talk about her as a real person, who was brave and trusted God, someone to admire. I shared just how much I love the Christmas story and how much it means to me that her son came to change the world for ever. I trust that the next Christian she meets will be able to answer any supplementaries!
Anna Giles is a children’s worker in the Diocese of London.