The problem with boys… is that they always seem to be ‘on’. I used to spend ages trying to find their ‘off switch’ before realising that it doesn’t really exist.
There are of course exceptions to the rule, but generally boys are like lemmings. It only takes one to lead and the others will follow with all sorts of unhelpful behaviour. For those of you with only girls in your group, here are some rather tame examples of what boys are capable of: making fart noises, hip-thrusting the air during the sung worship and drawing a dragon instead of Jesus in the response time.
I say, ban all boys from church! We’d save loads of time and get to do all the things we’d planned. Plus – imagine the craft, people, imagine the craft! It would be beautiful. The worship time would be quiet and reflective (just what you need on a Sunday morning) and the answers to your questions might actually relate to the topic you’re looking at.
I have to confess that these are genuine thoughts that have gone through my mind at one time or another. But being a man myself, I have much sympathy for boys and deep down inside there my inner child screams out ‘Farts are funny, what’s wrong with you?!’
Obviously banning boys from church is a terrible idea so there must be another option.
A while ago at our church I was talking with some of the more unruly boys. I was aware that something wasn’t working for them. It can’t always be their fault so thought I’d ask these boys what we could do.
‘We should have a day just for us so that we can play video games, play football and do some awesome stuff together,’ they said. I stupidly suggested adding pizza and building a go-kart into the mix and before I knew it we’d crafted the very first Boys’ Day of Awesomeness (BDA). They were insanely excited; I was slightly less so.
However, it was awesome – since our first BDA the boys always look forward to the next one and badger me regularly about a date.
It hasn’t changed our Sunday morning sessions in the way I had hoped, but it has provided a much needed sense of purpose and togetherness I didn’t know these boys were looking for.
So, why do a Boy’s Day of Awesomeness?
- They will love it.
- Friendship – most people stay where they have friends…
- It provides a space where they can be boisterous – something they aren’t often allowed to be.
How do I run a Boy’s Day of Awesomeness?
- Agree a date with the parents, not the boys… I’ve learned that lesson!
- Encourage the boys to think BIG with what they want to do. Let them use their imaginations and see what you can do to make it become as real as possible.
- On the day be as flexible as possible with your plans so that they can have a sense of ownership over what happens.
- Try planning something risky. Risk assess it, then do it. Letting boys use power tools (supervised of course!) is well worth it. Watch their eyes light up! And it might be a great way to get their dads involved too.
Ministry to children is never straight forward and is often hard, but I can say that a Boy’s Day of Awesomeness is a pleasure to be a part of and has given me permission to be a boy again, even if only for a bit. What I’ve discovered is that boys just want relationship and the freedom to be themselves. Give it a go and share your stories below!