So, I had a small argument on the train. Just a small one, voices were not raised, just a few remarks and then an intense sense of awkwardness. It happened at Liverpool Street on an evening when the trains were an utter shambles. When there was finally a train, we dashed to the announced platform only to discover there was no driver and they couldn’t open the doors. So we all ended up standing by the doors in a vague queue wondering how to get on. And then it happened. Someone pushed in using the classic ‘slide up the side of the train’ method.
‘That’s quite a push in manoeuvre you pulled there,’ I commented.
‘Well I saw there was a space at the front so I thought I could stand there,’ they replied.
‘Really? I asked. ‘Was it not a bit cheeky?’
‘Not if there’s a space, I can have that and if that’s the real train (the one with a driver) then I’m at the back anyway.’
You can see the flaws in their argument! It ended with them offering to let me in front of them if it mattered so much to me and me saying that was never the point and much awkwardness ensuing which was only relieved by the train doors opening and us heading to opposite ends of the carriage.
Talking about this made me realise that we were never going to agree, partly because you never do in that situation and partly because we were arguing from different perspectives. They were an individual who saw an opportunity to make their life a bit easier and took it. And when I commented, they could only see my offense as being because they were now ahead of me, not in relation to the whole queue of people they had cut in on. We live in a society where these values are reflected a lot.
However, individualism is one thing at a train station, but I’m worried that we might be teaching it in our children’s groups. It might actually begin with the gospel we share – our focus is on a ‘personal relationship with Jesus’ and on learning ‘Jesus died for me’. From there, we move on to teaching that equates Christian living as a series of moral choices that I make as an individual. Some of this is theology but some of this is our culture, which is very individualistic, shaping our theology. I’m not sure we show children the big picture enough, but a good start would be losing the ‘I’ and saying ‘we’ more often. Here are some ideas with attention grabbing headlines…
Stop saying ‘Jesus died for me’
See I told you it would be attention grabbing! What I’m saying here is we lose something if that’s all we say about Jesus’ death and resurrection. Atonement (which is the proper name for it) is bigger than that. Christ redeemed the whole earth and not just individuals in churches. As a minimum, try a ‘Jesus died for us’ so we’re thinking about community!
Stop making the parables about you
Parables do of course have a personal application but how often we think about the big picture. What does the Good Samaritan have to say about the refugee crisis? For example, and it seems to me it says a lot more that than the fact we should help!
Don’t focus on individual morality
When we talk about evil or sin we tend to talk about choices we make. For example, I hit my brother therefore I need to say sorry. (I should stop, I’m 37.) But when do we talk about the big picture? People starve in a world with enough resources, and we need to have something to say about that too.
Sam Donoghue is the Head of Children’s and Youth Ministry Support for the Diocese of London, and a usually calm commuter.
Image: Liverpool Street Station, London by Ian Carroll, used under Creative Commons licence.